Ever since Mark had his vertigo attack, people have been telling me about a new treatment for vertigo. Vertigo is caused by crystals in the fluid in your inner ear that somehow end up where they aren’t supposed to be, and the treatment is to move the head around in such a way as to get them back in place. Mark had a chiropractic appointment this morning and the chiropractor did this type of treatment for him.
Mark has been wanting to get back to work and I told him that until he could be up puttering around the RV all day, he wasn’t ready to work for eight hours. Yesterday he spent a good part of the day up and doing things. He was bored. So today he came to work with me and we agreed that if it got to be too much he could come back home. He never needed to. He was, however, not quite up to full capacity, but I have confidence his strength will come back soon.
In the meantime, I learned some things about myself. I have been feeling a little smug about what a good job I’ve been doing here. What I learned is that, just as Samson lost his strength when his hair was cut, I became an average housekeeper without Mark. Today, having him back at my side, I felt inspired again. I felt strong and happy. When I talk about my better half, it’s literally true. He fulfills me. I was telling the others today that while Mark was sick, I felt like Bonnie without Clyde or Eve without Adam. I found out how much I depend on Mark and how lost I am without him.
This is going to be a tremendous shock to those of you who have known me over the years and know what a feminist I’ve been, but lately, I’ve been learning about submission. This kind of sticks in my throat still, but I am trying to learn to be a submissive wife. I’ve been reading the Bible daily for a couple years now, and I can’t get around the fact that the Bible calls women to be subject to their husbands. Yechh, ptui, blech, blech! Gag me with a spoon! Did I really say that? Yes, I did, and I’ll tell you the changes in me are proof that God exists! This is not the old me talking.
I have been trying to figure out what it means to be subject to a husband who doesn’t order me around, and when I came home Wednesday night, exhausted and stressed, I think I finally figured it out. I asked Mark what he’d like me to do and he said he’d like it if I’d wash the dishes that were piling up everywhere, so I got up and washed them. Then I saw that he was out of ice cubes and asked if he’d like me to make some ice for him and he said yes. Once I’d filled the ice cube trays and put them in the freezer, I asked if he needed anything else and he didn’t. I think the idea of being subject to one’s husband is to ask what he needs and do it if at all possible.
This doesn’t work with an abusive husband. I’m not advocating that women in abusive relationships try this. In fact, to anyone who is in an abusive situation I would say that God is really OK with you leaving the relationship. That is not the kind of subjection the Bible is talking about.
But in a normal, healthy relationship, when a woman strives to meet her husband’s needs, it comes back to her for good. There is something in all of us that, like a child who says, “You’re not the boss of me”, doesn’t want to be bossed around. I was always afraid that being subject to my husband would mean him bossing me around, and I have been guilty of bossing him around. I am beginning to realize that that’s going at it backward. Jesus said, “…Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant.” (Matt 20:26) Rather than bossing each other around, we are to serve each other.
I’m brand new at this, so I’m apt to fail sometimes, but I am making myself accountable here.