I had opened the front blinds so that I could see when Dad was brought home this morning. Finally, a big van pulled up and I went out to meet Dad. He was sitting up in a wheelchair and had been directing the driver to his house!

Some friends from church had come over earlier in the morning and brought extra long sheets that they had specifically bought for Dad’s new hospital bed. Their names are Dave and Pam. Pam and I put the sheets on the bed and Dave moved a heavy piece of furniture so that we could move Dad’s oxygen machine out of the way so that the hose wouldn’t be a tripping hazard. When Dad arrived, at first he said he’d rather sit up in a chair, but the van driver wanted to show me how to move Dad in the bed. Once we got him into the bed, he never left it.

Elaine left for a little while at lunchtime to buy Dad some more comfortable things to wear in bed, and Dad seemed to have an urgency about wanting to say something to me. He’s wrestling with regrets he has about things he wasn’t able to do before finding out that he’s dying. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and wonder what went wrong with my life.

This afternoon at 3:00, a hospice nurse came over to ask us some questions regarding whether Dad wanted to continue with treatment or whether he was ready to accept hospice. Dad slept through practically the whole visit, so Elaine and I answered for him. There’s no sense in keeping him on treatment at this point. We just want him to be comfortable. Without having to go to appointments and go get infusions, Dad can stay in his own home and hospice will come to him. It will be so much easier on him.

She also had a lot to tell us about what hospice can provide. It made me wish all the more that my sister, Sherill, had allowed herself to accept hospice. She was so determined that God was going to heal her that she wouldn’t let anyone, including her doctor, tell her anything she didn’t want to hear. As a result, when she did die, none of us had any idea what she would have wanted at her memorial service. She wouldn’t even conceive of the idea that she might lose her battle with cancer. I think hospice is a wonderful thing!

I’m glad that Dad is getting enrolled, and I’m glad for Elaine’s sake too because she is still kind of in shock that Dad is going to be gone soon. She is having to prepare to let him go, and hospice has a social worker and a chaplain who can come in and take care of both her and Dad. They also offer massage therapy, aroma therapy, and free medication among many other services. We can call them 24/7 if we have a question or a need, and the hospice nurse even told us to call them before calling 911.

One serendipitous thing is that the hospice nurse announced when she first sat down with Dad and Elaine that she knew them from church. She hasn’t been going to their church since COVID, but she still remembers them. Before she left, she asked Dad if he’d like her to pray with him and he said yes. It was wonderful to have someone familiar be the one to show up for Dad’s intake.

Ever since then, Dad has been sleeping. I tried to wake him up to eat dinner and he only had one small bite of each thing I tried to feed him. He lets me fork-feed him. I’m hoping this is all just because he’s catching up from not being able to sleep well in the hospital. He was too tired to even open his mouth all the way so I could get food into him. This isn’t the big strong Daddy I grew up with.

I want to thank all of you who have sent me messages saying you’ll be praying for us. I have to tell you that for over a year, I wasn’t getting responses from anyone about my blogs and I wondered if anyone was still reading. It was discouraging and I didn’t write as much. But then a few people told me that they had responded to one of my blogs and I never got the response. A week or two ago, my son talked me through how to fix that over the phone, and last night’s blog was the first I have written since it’s been fixed. I have been overwhelmed by the response I’ve received. I want to give a shout-out to my son, Jamey, who helped me feel reconnected with you all. Thank you, Jamey! And thank you again to all of you who responded with prayers. It is comforting to know that we aren’t alone in this.